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Day 4 - Relapse...but it aint over



:D Not a good start to the day really. Unfortunately, I ended up buying a pack of ciggies. I've had about 3 or 4, but glad I just went for the pack of 10.

This morning was just not a good morning. I wasnt stressed, or anything like that, I just got a little scared (if i'm honest).

I'm absolutely shattered at the moment, and havent had a break for nearly 5 months now. We've been busy at the weekends, which hasnt help either.

From day 3, you may have read that I was up early (5am), down to my office, work all day, and then drive back. Didnt feel to bad though, even after only 6 hours sleep (or something like that).

Last night, went to bed again, but didnt get to sleep until midnight, and was then up at 5am again. Down to Kent this time.

For the life of me, i've never felt so tired, that I had to stop. Even days when i'm been in Denmark, where i'm up at 5.30 uk time, work all day, get a flight back, land at 22.30, and then drive home from Stansted. I get the occasional 'bit tired' syndromn, but nothing that really makes me feel to bad.

Anyway, got up, got ready and went (i've not been drinking tea (or coffee) first thing, as to avoid any triggers. So had a sip of water, and off I went.

Felt absolutely fine, until I got on to the M25. Then, quite quickly, I felt tired, and even more tired the further I drove. But then I realised, there were no services on the M25 until I got to Gatwick way. I didnt know anywhere around the M25, where I could pull off and stop. Dont get me wrong though, I wasnt too tired to drive (I would have defo just pulled over), but this is the closest I have ever been to it. Concentration was down, so I slowed right down into the slow lane, and toottled along until the services. I was actually quite worried, and didnt know what to do. I tried a coffee, but that didnt work, so I bought some ciggies. After about 10 minutes, I was awake again.

Then I realised....it wasnt actually the ciggies that woke me up, but the caffeine, which just took a while to do so :rolleyes:

Anyway, ciggies are in the bin again. It actually made me gag having one, so thats a good sign that my body is not liking them anymore.

So, I have to remain positive. Today is not a failure. Tomorrow is another smoke free day :lol:

Jeez...I like this blog stuff. Hope your not all falling asleep :doh:


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So had a sip of water, and off I went.

I'd advise you to have at least a glass of water Chris, not just a 'sip'. I usually only drink water, orange juice or tea. 1st thing is always a glass of water to (re)hydrate me after the night-time.

Keep up your determination, I know how hard it is after my brother's attempts to quit, and the fact you've binned the remaining fags from that pack is a real forward step!

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Cheers Andy.

Probably didnt drink enough water first thing, and also didnt have any in my motor :doh: Probably a good reason why I felt so pooey.

Thanks Bry. Will certainly keep going. I was feeling quite good until this morning, and actually (although feel less tired) feel worse now, more than I have since giving up.

I dont think i'll tell MrsL though...she'll just be disappointed. Once I know I am doing well, i'll let her know then.

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I used to have a polo everytime I wanted a ciggie, bit daft as I don't like mints, maybe it was adversion therapy :doh:

I never told myself I was giving up, just seeing how long I could stop for ;)

I always think that I am a very weak willed person but apart from 2 cigges (ages ago) I stopped and have to remind myself I ever smoked.

Have you considered hypnotherapy? I had a very successful session for exam nerves and my mum went to stop smoking on my recommendation. She reckoned it didn't work but after 40+ years of smoking and many failed attempts, she has now stopped smoking for about 3 years :blink:

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Thank Everyone :)

Katie - Havent thought about hypno before. I've heard that it can work, but you need to believe in the hypno for it to do so.

I think for me, i'd struggle, as i'm not a big believer in those sort of things (although it would work perfect for Kel).

I think if I failed this time though, big style (and without any serious triggers making me start again, then I would consider it. Never say never :)

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I think if I failed this time though, big style (and without any serious triggers making me start again, then I would consider it. Never say never :)

But you aren't going to fail Chris. You can do it. :)

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