It's long been my ambition to visit every major city on earth in the space of a week. This week I got close because yesterday I was in Newcastle (didn't see Ant & Dec) and today I was in Penrith (where I am known as "The Wizard From The South" for wearing a wrist-watch). Wore men's deodorant for the first time in ages this morning. I didn't realise white cans meant women's, but there you go. Getting very excited about my birthday on Saturday - but have yet to buy myself anything for it except a Dougal cake from M&S. I'm not so keen on it now after seeing the cashier in the bank had the same haircut.