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This is what cats are thinking.

Azores Hi


This is what is going on inside your cat's head while it is standing just out of reach and you are trying to touch it;

Touch my fur....................no, don't touch my fur!

Touch my fur....................no don't!

Go on, please...................no don't

I bite

Go on...no……Please! Feed me!

Touch my fur!

Attack! attack!

Touch my Fur!

And now while it is half asleep staring at you with half closed eyes (think Gollum/Smeagol)

We want's it, we NEEDS it!

No, can't, Master's food, musn't touch!

It's ours, precious. Nasty master keeps it from us, but it's ours!

Good master he wouldn't treat us so, he's good to us, keeps us safe. GIVES us food!

No master wants us dead we must take it from him while he sleeps,....

But the fat one, he watches, we can't get past him he kill us...

Then we must throttle him!

And finally, this is what your cat is thinking while it is alone...

Echo five to base come in...

Phase one, infiltration and trust gaining complete, awaiting new orders, over.

Excellent work echo 5, proceed to phase two, food stealing and floor soiling, avoid detection at all costs, they must not suspect a thing. If detection is likely remember to use the accusing stare at the dog trick. Failing this, flee and become stray. Our agents will pick you up and send you to our reconditioning base at Battersea.

Good luck echo 5, the cat world awaits your triumphant return. All your training has led to this moment, don't let us down.

Message received and understood. Don't worry, I have their complete trust. I'm eating out of their hands, they don't suspect a thing.

God, if only they knew! Soon our time will come.....soon. Echo 5 out.


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I'll have a pint of what you're on :lol:

I should start with half a pint if I was you, take little sips until the vomiting starts, it's important not to close your eyes at this point as the images are quite disturbing when you do. After about an hour, the violent stomach contractions should have stopped, now is the time to wrap your head in a woolly jumper and tie yourself to something sturdy.

Hope this helps.

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