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More of what cats are thinking!

Azores Hi


Hello all,

More of the infantile claptrap that makes up my thoughts...enjoy if you dare!

More stuff on what cats think.

On hot days.

My god! I'm covered with black fur! Please shave me.

When caught in the act.

I'm not the cat you're looking for, *waves paw in Jedi fashion* Go about your business, move along.

When wet.

Nothing you say or do will prevent me gaining access to your lap.

When I'm dry we will discuss your actions. While we wait, you should feed me.

On seeing a cat of the opposite sex.

Bathe her and bring her to me!

When out with their mates.

Whoa did you see that one scurry!

That was great Martin. Prehaps, next time we can all have a go!

Sometimes I look up to the sky and I wonder, what's it all about, why am I here?

You're here to infiltrate the human species, to learn their weaknesses, to find out the best way of assimilating their technologies into our own, to find the secret of their vast wealth of fish!

You have been designed by the great furry creator to wreak havock with the humans' leather sofa's and Habitat Curtains. This is your purpose.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that bit.

Cat Jokes

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

A small defenceless animal, wounded and pleading for it's life.

HA AH AHA ha ha. Good one Dave!

A Persian, a Domestic Short-hair and a Maine Coon are at the vets.

The Maine Coon says asks where's the fish?

The Domestic Short-hair Asks where's the Toilet?

The Persian says don't ask me I'm bred for beauty not brains, besides last week they cut off my b&lls!

(Yes, I struggled with this one too, I think it helps if your feline).

Cat poetry.

Roses are red ,

Violets are blue.

I'm colour blind but,

I'll happily crap on any of 'em.



On the doormat,

Lets show him who's boss.

When two cats are staring at each other from a distance...They are actually playing dungeons and dragons in their heads.

The mission continues

Echo 5 to base come in....

Go ahead echo 5 what's your status?

Phase 2, floor soiling complete! There was some trouble with a slipper but I used my advanced evasion skills and distracted them with a flea infestation. Awaiting further instructions

Excellent work Echo 5, we knew you're the right choice. Tell me, did sourcing the fleas create a problem for you?

Negative base, A rendezvous with our hedgehog division gave me all the ammo I needed. Plus I received a surprise package from our overseas skunk division that came to me via the hedgehogs. Lets just say, the entire rear of the property is now under our complete control.

Well done! Proceed to phase 3. Licking your private parts in front of important guests and Hiding 'presents' in the wardrobe. We also have a special mission for you Echo 5, rendezvous with one of our agents, code-name Fifi, your mission is to impregnate her, Fifi is a pure-bred Persian, she has been working hard to infiltrate one of the most influential human families in your district and this will really ruin their day when you knock her up with your ...erm ...less than pure-bred qualities, so don't screw this up......well screw...erm.....er......you know to do Echo 5.

It'll be a pleasure Sir. Fifi and I go back a long way, and I relish the opportunity of seeing her again.

Strictly business Echo 5, you know the rules.

Yes Sir, message received and understood. Proceeding to phase three....


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