Daily Express

[johnholmes]

Piers accuracy over a long period is about as my ability with a pc, and that is not saying much. Yes he has had one or two spectacular successes but his misses far outweigh his hits.

[Weather-history]

This was Piers Corbyn Weather Action relese for this November

November in Britain will be Cold with snow and Blizzards say Weather Action long range forecasters

Wrong!

- No chance of a record warm year

- Cold spells will bring travel disruption with economic cost

- Weather Action's long range weather forecast for November first issued seven months ago is confirmed in their month ahead update - that this November will be Cold with Snow and blizzards at times.

Wrong!, a record warm year is still on

Wrong, cold spells have not been remotely severe or causing problems

"The timing details are in the full forecast circulated to customers" said Piers Corbyn astrophysicist & meteorologist for Weather Action, "but this November's cold spells will cause significant disruptions so we decided to issue a public warning. The media are free to announce this

They have and you are going to look foolish for it!

Mr Corbyn added: "The travel disruption caused by these November cold snowy spells bring a cost to the economy which leads one to question the assumptions in Sir Nicholas Stern's WMT Report.

Absolutely sensationalistic traDoh a dumb swear filter got the better of me

.

"This cold November alongside the unusually cold Spring months - which run counter to Global Warming alarm expectations - means there is no chance that this year will be a record breaker.

Does not look a cold November now, the spring months were not unusually cold. April and May were both above average!!

:lol:

[snowsure]

Happy to declare that I barked up the wrong tree on this one.

One day I will learn to follow my head and not my heart!

Anyone else for humble pie?

[johnholmes]

Wrong!

Wrong!, a record warm year is still on

Wrong, cold spells have not been remotely severe or causing problems

They have and you are going to look foolish for it!

Absolutely sensationalistic traDoh a dumb swear filter got the better of me

Does not look a cold November now, the spring months were not unusually cold. April and May were both above average!!

I've posted before about Piers. His forecast record is pretty dismal. One or two startling successes which the media hyped up. For the rest most on here with no experience would not do a lot worse in my view!

[Roger J Smith]

Send the Excess staff over here, I've got more snow than I know what to do with, but I'm sure something will come to mind. (10 cms of the white stuff and S+ right now, then down to -8 C Tuesday when the storm lets up on Monday night). I promise to give this stuff a big shove west when we're done with it, look for it around mid-January perhaps, if you're lucky.

[Rollo]

Hi Roger, If you have a spare bed I will come over tomorrow morning and go sledging with you.

[johnholmes]

Roger said this

'big shove west'

If you shove it that way mate there will not be much left by the time its travelled all across the States, Asia, and Europe to here. Even the TEITS easterly would see little of it left!

Assume you meant shove it east?

John

[Soaring Hawk]

Roger said this

'big shove west'

If you shove it that way mate there will not be much left by the time its travelled all across the States, Asia, and Europe to here. Even the TEITS easterly would see little of it left!

Assume you meant shove it east?

John

I'm glad someone with your gravitas asked that question John. I was wondering the same thing but unsure because I know so much less about the physics of weather than Roger!

[Tim]

It's always the Daily Express or Daily Star that come out with rubbish weather headlines. The Daily Express will do it about 3 times a year.

I remember in late July 2004 the Daily Star said it would be 40 degrees C on the 10th of August, I think the idea was 'well it was 39 in 2003'!

[West is Best]

Good morning all. It's Monday morning so presumably the Daily Express is leading with a Diana headline today? Now, let me go and check the headline for today...

... Yep, I was right:

Incidentally, according to Private Eye the Daily Express editor is widely known as Peter 'Mentally' Hill ...

[Roger J Smith]

I was talking about shoving the high in the Yukon west, retrograde motion through Siberia and Russia in December to arrive nicely chilled in Scandinavia around New Years.

From where I live, west does not hit the United States except for Alaska.

Shoving it east won't be of much use, that will just depress the jet stream into Florida and pump even more warm air towards you. Case in point, the winter of 1993-94 was one where cold air dived southeast from the Yukon into eastern North America in January. The air mass might then try to go further east but has to cross the warmer part of the Atlantic to reach you.

However, I was being somewhat facetious. Retrogression does not work quite that simply, as you probably know. The process seems to work more in terms of a general tendency moving westward but individual highs that are created trying to return back to the east. That early November period of colder weather had that feature, it is really quite rare for a large surface high to keep moving west for days on end.

For the next 4-5 days we will have this arctic high over western Canada and Alaska, then the models show it losing intensity, some of it seeps away to the Great Lakes and Quebec but usually the retrograde sequence continues with another high forming further west in a few days, the next one probably over Alaska, then a bigger one over east Siberia (there is of course pretty much always a weak one there), etc to the Urals and Russia. That's what I was getting at. Now I must sleep. By the way, 18 cms on the ground here now, it hasn't stopped for 36 hours now. On the news they say 55 cm in Abbotsford which is 100 km east of Vancouver in the Fraser valley. When the wind starts blowing that around tomorrow, it will be a total blizzard, only the second time this has happened in the ten years I have lived in this area.

[Weather-history]

I've posted before about Piers. His forecast record is pretty dismal. One or two startling successes which the media hyped up. For the rest most on here with no experience would not do a lot worse in my view!

Not many lrf have come out of this November well. Piers, Terry Scholey, Paul Bartlett

Paul Bartlett's November thoughts was for a very settled November

http://www.rutnet.co.uk/pp/gold/viewGold.a...=Page&ID=23

"November normally comes in two types. Settled or unsettled or, of course, a mixture of the two"

Thats one of the daftest comments I've seen for awhile with due to respect Paul Bartlett. All months come in those forms, its just a matter of degree how settled/unsettled they are.

[Gavin P]

Well I've always believed people shouldn't be attacked when they issue LRF's and then they go wrong (goodness knows, I've issued enough forecasts that have gone wrong over the years )

However, in this case I think Piers should be held to account. He is clearly using his forecasts to try and make political points and as such he should be made to answer for the things he says.

[viking_smb]

Well I've always believed people shouldn't be attacked when they issue LRF's and then they go wrong (goodness knows, I've issued enough forecasts that have gone wrong over the years )

However, in this case I think Piers should be held to account. He is clearly using his forecasts to try and make political points and as such he should be made to answer for the things he says.

daily express never shut up about this artic winter they said the same last year

anyway welcome to net-weather gavin from myself

rob

[The Eagle]

OMFG, now they've really done it, predicting killer tornadoes on todays headline!

What is the story with this paper, they seems obsessed with the weather and Diana!

Edited November 28, 2006 by Icicles

[Loraine Bennett]

Have just read these two quotes:- A Met Office spokesman said:"We are still five weeks away from the end of the year, but the general trends are for a milder than average winter in the first part of the season which will be followed by a series of cold snaps later in the Winter, in January and February next year." Then another quote by Jim Dale, a senior risk meteorologist at British Weather Services, said: "Next year particularly in late January to early February, we are looking at a severe prolonged cold snap that will probably last a while and we will probably see some snow." Some agreement there, but I must say the word 'probably' doesn't fill me with confidence, although it has given me hope, that in the not too distant future all this mild, wet weather can be pushed out of the way and be replaced with something colder! I have just got to get through the next month of 'nothingness', some frosty mornings would help! :blink:

Regards

Loraine.

[J10]

I hope you don't mind Loraine but I have merged the 2 Daily Express threads together.

[Roger J Smith]

The Daily Excess

_______________________________________________________________________

If this isn't news, we don't know what is WEATHER: Arctic onslaught, 15 C

_______________________________________________________________________

Palace behind global warming arctic cover-up? Chelsea boss says maybe

LONDON -- Sources have told the Daily Excess that Her Majesty the Queen may

be the "blockbuster" behind the recent puzzling spell of raging zonality.

Raging zonality is a term used mostly by weathermen and weatherwomen when

they see nothing but strong westerly winds. According to Sir Neville Biscuitbarrel

the famed author of "Run for Your festering Lives, Here Comes the Atlantic," this

is only the beginning of a 10-year cycle of extreme zonality which will culminate in

"the wind being west all the time."

Now in a shocking development, we have learned that H.M. the Queen, or possibly

someone fairly high up in the Palace, personally ordered this zonal weather as it

would be ideal for horseback riding and walking the dogs.

Chelsea manager Juan Mandingo said that he liked the weather, as it reminded him

of Portugal.

Climate student and part-time wingnut Roger K Smythe, contacted at his home in

British Columbia, Canada, when asked about this controversy, said,"don't you festering

realize it is four in the morning here?"

The Council of Climate Gurus, meeting near Stonehenge, issued a statement that concluded, "this is the end of our statement." Fair enough, but does this signal a retreat from the former position they took on the imminence of "the worst winter seen in Britain since the war, only we're not saying which war."

Insiders say they are referring to the First Punic War, indicating that Sir Neville Biscuitbarrel may very well be working on a new book, "Run as though your life

depended on it, here comes the Baltic."

All we can say for certain is that somebody has to be right about something.

more on page 386

[Dazza]

It will be interesting to revisit this thread at the end of November when I am sure we will still be accurately slating the story as absolute drivel (and we will be able to stress 'you heard it here on N-W first').

Well here we are at the end of November and.......... see above.

[Gray-Wolf]

I'm sure that the Express is running a hidden agenda to dispell fears of Global warming fueling climate change. In the not too distant future I'm sure they'll roll out all their unfounded, sensationalist headlines as proof positive that climate change isn't happening. Something along the lines of " they told you to expect.................and what happened".

Edited November 29, 2006 by Gray-Wolf

[grab my graupel]

My neighbour is a reader of the Express and he genuinely believes

some of the headlines. Since I took the P... out of him he hides it under his arm now.

Im working on converting him to a Netweather reader instead

Edited November 29, 2006 by grab my graupels

[snowsure]

The Daily Excess

_______________________________________________________________________

If this isn't news, we don't know what is WEATHER: Arctic onslaught, 15 C

_______________________________________________________________________

Palace behind global warming arctic cover-up? Chelsea boss says maybe

LONDON -- Sources have told the Daily Excess that Her Majesty the Queen may

be the "blockbuster" behind the recent puzzling spell of raging zonality.

Raging zonality is a term used mostly by weathermen and weatherwomen when

they see nothing but strong westerly winds. According to Sir Neville Biscuitbarrel

the famed author of "Run for Your festering Lives, Here Comes the Atlantic," this

is only the beginning of a 10-year cycle of extreme zonality which will culminate in

"the wind being west all the time."

Now in a shocking development, we have learned that H.M. the Queen, or possibly

someone fairly high up in the Palace, personally ordered this zonal weather as it

would be ideal for horseback riding and walking the dogs.

Chelsea manager Juan Mandingo said that he liked the weather, as it reminded him

of Portugal.

Climate student and part-time wingnut Roger K Smythe, contacted at his home in

British Columbia, Canada, when asked about this controversy, said,"don't you festering

realize it is four in the morning here?"

The Council of Climate Gurus, meeting near Stonehenge, issued a statement that concluded, "this is the end of our statement." Fair enough, but does this signal a retreat from the former position they took on the imminence of "the worst winter seen in Britain since the war, only we're not saying which war."

Insiders say they are referring to the First Punic War, indicating that Sir Neville Biscuitbarrel may very well be working on a new book, "Run as though your life

depended on it, here comes the Baltic."

All we can say for certain is that somebody has to be right about something.

more on page 386

If this isn't the funniest post that I have ever read I don't know what is.

I can't see for the tears of laughter!!!!!

Or is it the atlantic lapping around my ears?

Superb work My Smyth!

[Roger J Smith]

<<<<<<<<<<<<<< D a i ly S t u n >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_______________________________________________________________________

Small bits of news that are easier to digest ----- WEATHER: Bag of crisp alert, 17 C

_______________________________________________________________________

Rockall evacuated as first of global warming megastorms hits

GLASGOW -- The Scottish Met Service today warned that "ye had better git off Rackall"

coming into line with the Irish Met Service which had earlier stated "sure, it looks a

touch breezy" and the Danish weather service, which warned "ogpast flugpast shepen

150 km/gz y flygpast flygpasten ogpast flugpast Rockallen fyr holey crap flugpast

starken-winden allen Deutschland hip hip 2470G90 uh-oh tag uh-oh jetzt tag flugpast

920 millibaren vekidunot."

The Danish weather service added that Rockall was "yet another Atlantic island we own"

and "we hope it's still there next week."

Meanwhile, the UK Metoffice warned that "bags of crisps should be kept indoors from Saturday until global warming runs its course," which might take two to four weeks.

"The jet stream is blowing this weather in," explained a senior spokesman, who took

time out from briefing the Cabinet on the possible disruptions this winter from

flying kelp in western Scotland. "With the jet stream in this sort of pattern, you often

get this sort of weather."

We tried to contact well known Russian climatologist Igor Tu'nodoff, but he was

apparently sleeping on the night train from Omsk to Tomsk, in his relentless

search for the quasi-mythical -40 isotherm. Meanwhile, the Chinese news agency

gave news of "blizzard people town snow goat lorry ditch river froze mountain ski

2020 Winter Olympic bid don't look behind the fence slave labour camp there"

weather which was later translated to be "freezing drizzle and fog."

Meanwhile in Australia, people are laughing at a hemisphere that has real winter,

and planning never to visit there again.

Edited November 30, 2006 by Roger J Smith

[nanu]

<<<<<<<<<<<<<< D a i ly S t u n >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_______________________________________________________________________

Small bits of news that are easier to digest ----- WEATHER: Bag of crisp alert, 17 C

_______________________________________________________________________

Rockall evacuated as first of global warming megastorms hits

GLASGOW -- The Scottish Met Service today warned that "ye had better git off Rackall"

coming into line with the Irish Met Service which had earlier stated "sure, it looks a

touch breezy" and the Danish weather service, which warned "ogpast flugpast shepen

150 km/gz y flygpast flygpasten ogpast flugpast Rockallen fyr holey crap flugpast

starken-winden allen Deutschland hip hip 2470G90 uh-oh tag uh-oh jetzt tag flugpast

920 millibaren vekidunot."

The Danish weather service added that Rockall was "yet another Atlantic island we own"

and "we hope it's still there next week."

Meanwhile, the UK Metoffice warned that "bags of crisps should be kept indoors from Saturday until global warming runs its course," which might take two to four weeks.

"The jet stream is blowing this weather in," explained a senior spokesman, who took

time out from briefing the Cabinet on the possible disruptions this winter from

flying kelp in western Scotland. "With the jet stream in this sort of pattern, you often

get this sort of weather."

We tried to contact well known Russian climatologist Igor Tu'nodoff, but he was

apparently sleeping on the night train from Omsk to Tomsk, in his relentless

search for the quasi-mythical -40 isotherm. Meanwhile, the Chinese news agency

gave news of "blizzard people town snow goat lorry ditch river froze mountain ski

2020 Winter Olympic bid don't look behind the fence slave labour camp there"

weather which was later translated to be "freezing drizzle and fog."

Meanwhile in Australia, people are laughing at a hemisphere that has real winter,

and planning never to visit there again.

Roger mate.. you should write a bloody book on this.. honestly i nearly fell off me bloody chair, laughing so much

[Dazza]

:lol: @ Roger, excellent .