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Posted
  • Location: Louth, Lincolnshire
  • Weather Preferences: Misty Autumn days and foggy nights
  • Location: Louth, Lincolnshire
=======================

SATSIGS ALERT

=======================

SATSIGs has detected a ramp event, epicentre around Peterborough, at around 21:06 this evening. Early indications are that on the ramping scale this ramp came in at about 1.8.

Interesting, but 1.8 whats? I was assuming that ramping has its own equivalent to the Fujita or the Saffir-Simpson scale. Perhaps the 'GPH' - (Gritters Per Hour) Scale. Thus we have the full range of ramp from the lowest scale - 0 ("A gritter went past earlier but it was on the back of a breakdown truck and it's August") through the usual scales of 1 and 2, to 3 ("The Gritter has stopped going up and down our road and is now circling the road in front of our drive, it's so bad here"), the more serious 4 ("We had a gritter come past two hours ago, but the driver's just had to dog-sled his way from the truck which is encased in ice") to the catastrophic 5 ("The gritter has just been air-lifted out of the road by Army Chinook.").

Another option is the 'Revelations' scale, with the bottom of the scale being 0 ("nothing to report out of the ordinary"), 1 ("Raining fish, darkness three days long, but otherwise no big deal"), 2 ("Well, the local river appears to be running blood and these damn locusts are everywhere), 3 ("That's nothing, the earth is spitting out the dead here, Helen Willetts didn't mention that on Breakfast this morning"), 4 (Well, here the Beast - insert 'From The East' as appropriate - and the whore of Babylon are cavorting openly across the landscape, I bet the Co-op's out of milk and Mother's Pride tomorrow.") to 5 ("I'll be working from home all the rest of the week, the Four Horsemen rode past and the one with the mittens and earmuffs was riding up front. Best get the pools coupon sent off early.).

I'd volunteer for service, but Lincolnshire's the last place where sound thinking and reason will take off as a valid concept.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Interesting, but 1.8 whats?

Mmm, that's a good point. Maybe we should run a little competition to come up with the unit name. If nothing better if offered I shall propose "just before dawns" seeing as you spotted this first.

"Osbornes" has a ring to it, though "Telfords" might be more appropriate. "Abingdons" would seem to be too much of a non-sequiter.

And whilst we're broadcasting...

SATSIGs RAMP ALERT

SATSIGs monitors are picking up high levels of activity from somewhere between Wuwlverumptun and Shrewsbury (never been there - one of the very few places in the UK - anyone know what it's like?; I think it's probably like Hull without the river, or a big bridge - i.e. on the road to nowhere / the land that time forgot). Stay alert for potentially high volumes of low level ramping over the next few hours, and low levels of high volume sleet.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
How about WANTERs

Wickedly

Ambitious

Nonsense

Temperature

Event

Report

or

Spurious

Precipitation

Identity

Reporting

Measurement

Wow. Double wow. No, a WANTER (n), as opposed to a wanter (adj), should be allocated to a report of wintry weather that sound spurious, like Rain with bits of sleet in it despite it being 11C on the official reports.

Did you keep a copy of the glossary we produced last winter? Or was it Shuggee? Somebody did, and we need a copy at SATSIGs - please. Otherwise we'll just have to start the thread all over again.

Edited by Stratos Ferric
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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
"Abingdons" would seem to be too much of a non-sequiter.

"Abingdons" would be an appropriate measurement for the level of counter-ramping issued by the ZSNT.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
"Abingdons" would be an appropriate measurement for the level of counter-ramping issued by the ZSNT.

Possibly, though what about Abingdons as the SIU (Satsigs INternational Unit) of wonter weather. I am reminded of the classic polemic writen on, I think, TWO, a couple of years ago following the projected night to end all nights when someone down south woke up to the usual green and wrote chapter and verse on the snow that didn't fall and the roads that weren't blocked. Would not an Abingdon be a unit of disappointment following the allowed ramp that turns into a rainy squib? You'll have to provide the anchors for the scale though.

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Posted
  • Location: Bournemouth
  • Location: Bournemouth

Indeed, a scale of Abingdons does, to my ears, have a rather scholarly ring to it.

Perhaps a appropriate scale of disappointment, with:

0 - Polar bears spotted going through bins

1 - Less than a metre of level snow

2 - Less than an inch of level snow

3 - No snow actually fell

4 - No sleet actually fell, not even slushy hail

5 - It didn't even rain and heaven knows the south east needs the rain

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Posted
  • Location: just south of Doncaster, Sth Yorks
  • Location: just south of Doncaster, Sth Yorks
Indeed, a scale of Abingdons does, to my ears, have a rather scholarly ring to it.

Perhaps a appropriate scale of disappointment, with:

0 - Polar bears spotted going through bins

1 - Less than a metre of level snow

2 - Less than an inch of level snow

3 - No snow actually fell

4 - No sleet actually fell, not even slushy hail

5 - It didn't even rain and heaven knows the south east needs the rain

could be inserted into any forecast I would think. Mind you our leader may not approve of such an idea.

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
could be inserted into any forecast I would think. Mind you our leader may not approve of such an idea.

I think I have found my slot in the weather world: issueing 'Postcasts'.

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Posted
  • Location: NH7256
  • Weather Preferences: where's my vote?
  • Location: NH7256
Indeed, a scale of Abingdons does, to my ears, have a rather scholarly ring to it.

Perhaps a appropriate scale of disappointment, with:

0 - Polar bears spotted going through bins

1 - Less than a metre of level snow

2 - Less than an inch of level snow

3 - No snow actually fell

4 - No sleet actually fell, not even slushy hail

5 - It didn't even rain and heaven knows the south east needs the rain

how about:

-1 - the end of civilization

...

6 - locusts spotted going through the bins

nah, not inspired. will try a different cocktail tomorrow.

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
0 - Polar bears spotted going through bins

1 - Where were the blizzards

2 - There was a decent accumulation but all gone by morning

3 - Why has the grass turned slightly paler green

4 - Lampostwatching registers no sightings of snowflakes

5 - It didn't even sleet

As an Abingdonian, I have made some adjustments to the scale to reflect the 10 years of disappointment.

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Posted
  • Location: Norwich
  • Location: Norwich

Will SATSIGS be making a distinction between posthumous ramping (We had some very cold rain here yesterday that looked like it could turn to snow) and predictive ramping (snow expected sometime soon) ? Please advise

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
I think I have found my slot in the weather world: issueing 'Postcasts'.

Don't knock it. There's one or two on here who I wouldn't even back to get those right!

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Posted
  • Location: Bournemouth
  • Location: Bournemouth
As an Abingdonian, I have made some adjustments to the scale to reflect the 10 years of disappointment.

As a true Abingdonian, the Abongdonian's Abingdonist scale of Abingdons can be whatever you like, perhaps it only needs one number:

5 - Nothing happened

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Will SATSIGS be making a distinction between posthumous ramping (We had some very cold rain here yesterday that looked like it could turn to snow) and predictive ramping (snow expected sometime soon) ? Please advise

An interesting point. I suggest a ramp is a ramp, though perhaps there's a sub category for ramping after the event, typically the refuge of those too honest to fib, yet too exciteable to be able to resist joining in the fun if it actually is snowing somewhere.

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
An interesting point. I suggest a ramp is a ramp, though perhaps there's a sub category for ramping after the event, typically the refuge of those too honest to fib, yet too exciteable to be able to resist joining in the fun if it actually is snowing somewhere.

And a definition of 'event' would be required. Post-ramping has occurred to the extent of hyping up an entire winter to a wanter when actually it was a didnter.

What's that coming over the hill? Is it a snow shower?

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Posted
  • Location: Glasgow
  • Location: Glasgow

The ramping on the model discussion thread is getting out of control. I have heard reports that SACRA have been getting their members to ramp up the snow and cold.

The main rampers on the board for the past week have been Lesta who stays in Lesta. There is also Conor123 who still wouldnt be happy if the "Day after Tomorow" came true.

Edited by frozen_north
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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
And a definition of 'event' would be required. Post-ramping has occurred to the extent of hyping up an entire winter to a wanter when actually it was a didnter.

What's that coming over the hill? Is it a snow shower?

What, you mean there have ben people writing things like "it nearly got very cold last winter" and "the cold air wanted to reach the UK", on here,...pfff!

Didnter - that's a good new one.

Will SATSIGS be making a distinction between posthumous ramping (We had some very cold rain here yesterday that looked like it could turn to snow) and predictive ramping (snow expected sometime soon) ? Please advise

That said, when I ws out running this evening the rain felt very cold. I'm sure it might have been sleeting...before it melted on its way down.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
The ramping on the model discussion thread is getting out of control. I have heard reports that SACRA have been getting their members to ramp up the snow and cold.

The main rampers on the board for the past week have been Lesta who stays in Lesta. There is also Conor123 who still wouldnt be happy if the "Day after Tomorow" came true.

Actually I agree, and the sound thinking gradient at the edge of the MZoSNT, perilously close to Vale of Sratosvale I have to add, would appear to be more severe than a severe bout of severe sickness. Therefore...

RAMPWATCH

Sensors in Glasgow, as well as at SATSIGs HQ, have detected potential for light to moderate ramping over the next week. There is potential , if GFS continues to paint the East Atlantic blue, for first signs of a rampede, but let's not over ramp the ramping, yet...

RAMP ALERT

SATSIGs 2 - "The biggest event since 1981/2"

Issued 2355h 061118

SATSIGs sensors in Glasgow, and at SATSIGs HQ, have detected a minor ramp in the NW, precise location uncertain, though mysteriously close to the MZoSNT, possibly in the M56 corridor. At this stage there is potential for this initial shock to set of secondaries. We advise all readers to stay vigilant, and not get carried away: it's an EXPERIMENTAL FORECAST for EIGHT WEEKS' time. It's probably only a notch up from TWO's christmas snow forecast.

Edited by Stratos Ferric
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Posted
  • Location: Hebden Bridge (561 ft ASL) A drug town with a tourist problem
  • Location: Hebden Bridge (561 ft ASL) A drug town with a tourist problem
Actually I agree, and the sound thinking gradient at the edge of the MZoSNT, perilously close to Vale of Sratosvale I have to add, would appear to be more severe than a severe bout of severe sickness. Therefore...

RAMPWATCH

Sensors in Glasgow, as well as at SATSIGs HQ, have detected potential for light to moderate ramping over the next week. There is potential , if GFS continues to paint the East Atlantic blue, for first signs of a rampede, but let's not over ramp the ramping, yet...

RAMP ALERT

SATSIGs 2 - "The biggest event since 1981/2"

Issued 2355h 061118

SATSIGs sensors in Glasgow, and at SATSIGs HQ, have detected a minor ramp in the NW, precise location uncertain, though mysteriously close to the MZoSNT, possibly in the M56 corridor. At this stage there is potential for this initial shock to set of secondaries. We advise all readers to stay vigilant, and not get carried away: it's an EXPERIMENTAL FORECAST for EIGHT WEEKS' time. It's probably only a notch up from TWO's christmas snow forecast.

Oh you guys.... :rolleyes:

The power of the SACRA is strong this year. Didn't your MZ'T collegues teach you anything? :doh:

When the forces of winter decend, they will decend from a great place, a place where no front is occluded, a place where no jet (i) is flat, a place where no beast comes - without fries and ketchup ;)

Be warned B)

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Posted
  • Location: Pennines
  • Location: Pennines
The ramping on the model discussion thread is getting out of control. I have heard reports that SACRA have been getting their members to ramp up the snow and cold.

Yeah and the irony is it has nothing to do with the 18Z or the ensembles but some stuff I posted from ECPC - which is churning out quite frankly the best and most prolonged winter charts I/we have ever seen at the same time. :rolleyes:

Once again I apologise for this. The best advice was Stratos' advice that the above charts are experimental, therefore prone to failure, and nothing more. :doh:

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Yeah and the irony is it has nothing to do with the 18Z or the ensembles but some stuff I posted from ECPC - which is churning out quite frankly the best and most prolonged winter charts I/we have ever seen at the same time. :rolleyes:

Once again I apologise for this. The best advice was Stratos' advice that the above charts are experimental, therefore prone to failure, and nothing more. :doh:

Damien. no need to apologise for a ramp, SATSIGs merely points out a ramp, it doesn't judge them - other than in a qualifying the degree of ramping sort of a way.

The WATCH was for the GFS more than the experimental wonter wanter forcast.

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Posted
  • Location: Leeds/Bradford border, 185 metres above sea level, around 600 feet
  • Location: Leeds/Bradford border, 185 metres above sea level, around 600 feet

I have shaded the suspected epicentre of the level 2 ramping event, hopefully, ramp police in the local area will take sufficient precautions.

post-1806-1163949258.jpg

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Posted
  • Location: Rugby, Warks
  • Weather Preferences: Dangerous
  • Location: Rugby, Warks
I have shaded the suspected epicentre of the level 2 ramping event, hopefully, ramp police in the local area will take sufficient precautions.

You should add Shropshire. Locally, science has been dismissed and any thought of realism banished.

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