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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL

I seem to recall that in the past year or two we extended the rampometer scale to include snow reports and the very occasional tendency of a few reporters to, er, mismeasure depths. If we did I certainly didn't keep a copy so we'll have to start afresh. I think we also had the Abingdon units of disappointment scale didn't we?

Anyway, we have, courtesy of one of our NE reporters, a scale for mismeasuring snow, the Kentimetre.

We also have the Westimeter, actually a collective geenric term for any rough and ready approach to guesstimating snow depths. Chunky boots, for example. Needs must in a crisis, particularly if you're standing in, say, tussocky heather, in which case snow may seem to be a full chunky boot deep, converting to 2-3 cm potentially, or at least 15 kentimetres.

Something else that the SATSIGS analysts have noted recently is the model forum block. This is the tendency for the prospect for cold to endure for a very very long time in the model threads. In the circumstances where it has been cold at all it can be very hard for any modelled mild, no matter just how imminent, to overcome the cold block in the thread. In these situations the mild air will tend to bifurcate, and either go and watch TV instead, or else generally find something more worthwhile to do.

Coldostomy (n): an opening in the model thread which gives an alternative outlet for the prospects for cold weather, whatever the models might indicate otherwise.

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
I seem to recall that in the past year or two we extended the rampometer scale to include snow reports and the very occasional tendency of a few reporters to, er, mismeasure depths. If we did I certainly didn't keep a copy so we'll have to start afresh. I think we also had the Abingdon units of disappointment scale didn't we?


Yes and yes. I can predict widespread Abingdons over the south-eastern quadrant on Wednesday morning. Edited by The Enforcer
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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Yes and yes. I can predict widespread Abingdons over the south-eastern quadrant on Wednesday morning.

What we need are some units of optimism. Oh that I could bottle up that which courses madly through the minds of many on the model forum, and sell it to those who are downcast and despondent.

Ludlows of optimism perhaps?

If there's enough Ludlows about then a critical mass might be reached at which, perhaps, even if the weather did turn mild, the inhabitants of the model thread would not, for the most part, notice.

The Government could do with a bit of this stuff.

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Posted
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent
What we need are some units of optimism. Oh that I could bottle up that which courses madly through the minds of many on the model forum, and sell it to those who are downcast and despondent.

Ludlows of optimism perhaps?

If there's enough Ludlows about then a critical mass might be reached at which, perhaps, even if the weather did turn mild, the inhabitants of the model thread would not, for the most part, notice.

The Government could do with a bit of this stuff.

I'm sure this was discussed last winter, but I have forgotten. I suppose Telfords, I like the sound of a possible Telford load on the way? Fen filler, sounds like a good potential dumping too. For less certain times, then it has to be a Carlisle. Rather than asking what are the prospects for NO on Wednesday, we could have a sliding scale. 1. Will it (as in wish). 2. Will it? 3. It might. 4. It will. 5. It.....isn't.

Dave

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
What we need are some units of optimism.
I suppose Telfords, I like the sound of a possible Telford load on the way?

Yes, I recall we had the Telfords previously.

http://bhomeimprovements.co.uk/images/telford.jpg

I reckon that guy is lamppost-watching.

Edited by The Enforcer
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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Having checked the archive, it seems Telfords were the unit of exaggeration. Is it an SI unit?

Well done that man. Telfords for exaggeration, makes sense given some mysteriously sleety happenings there in the past. Maybe a future X-files film will be based aroud the strange bending of the laws of physics that goes on around those parts.

We'll need to find somewhere else for units of optimism. What about Leicesters?

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Posted
  • Location: Exeter, Devon, England
  • Location: Exeter, Devon, England

Kentimetres! I love it. :blush:

Speaking of which, Kent was actually the last place that I saw a 'proper' snowfall on 10th April 2006. 10cm of wet and completely unforecasted snow fell close to Tunbridge Wells during the night.

april12003bsl9.jpgapril12015bjo6.jpg

... and that was in the year that became the warmest on record for England and Wales!

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness

This is the best one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/ima...gallery.shtml?7

"Cars were stuck in the road as the snow was too deep to move them."

How many Kentimetres in a foot? Regardless, the author of the above article is hereby awarded 9 Telfords.

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Posted
  • Location: Upper Tweeddale, Scottish Borders 240m ASL
  • Location: Upper Tweeddale, Scottish Borders 240m ASL
Coldostomy (n): an opening in the model thread which gives an alternative outlet for the prospects for cold weather, whatever the models might indicate otherwise.

lmao

Global Angular (wait a) Moment (I think I'm understanding it) um.... : The latest theory of where the next spell of no is going to come from, which, as with all new theories superceding those preceding it, tends to get more and more complicated.

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Posted
  • Location: Hucclecote, Gloucestershire. 50m ASL.
  • Location: Hucclecote, Gloucestershire. 50m ASL.
This is the best one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/ima...gallery.shtml?7

"Cars were stuck in the road as the snow was too deep to move them."

Ahh, I see your mistake. You have to look to the metaphysical to answer this one, in that the snow was too preoccupied (deep) in Meditation to move the cars on its own, and the people would have to do it for themselves, or they would remain stuck.

Blimey, can't some people see the bleedin' obvious? :blush:

7&Y

PS How about OONs of optimism??

Edited by 7andY
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Posted
  • Location: Nr Appleby in Westmorland
  • Location: Nr Appleby in Westmorland

That's the first time the word optimism has been used in the same sentence as my name.

I'm sure I've offered this one before, but when the models have misled us for half a season, it's all gone TEITS up.

Kent - an unpleasant person who gets more snow than yourself.

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Posted
  • Location: Newton Aycliffe, County Durham
  • Location: Newton Aycliffe, County Durham
This is the best one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/ima...gallery.shtml?7

"Cars were stuck in the road as the snow was too deep to move them."

How many Kentimetres in a foot? Regardless, the author of the above article is hereby awarded 9 Telfords.

There are 93 Kentimetres in a foot of snow.

Measurement is thus....1 foot of level snow has fallen, find the deepest spot of snow you can find, say over that hole that the dog dug in the garden, this will give you a measurement of one and a half feet of snow (50% deeper, or 45cm. Double that 45cm, which makes 90cm, and add 3cm.

1 foot = 93 Kentimetres.

To reverse this for real depth - if somebody claims 12 Kentimetres of snow....

1 Take 3 off, leaving 9

2 Half that, making 4.5

3 Assume that the 4.5 is not the average level depth, but actually the deepest part that the Kentimetre measurer could find.

4 Assume therefore that the reading of 4.5 has a 50% positive error from the average snow depth. This leaves a result of 3cm level snow depth.

5 Scrutinise the photograph offered as proof of 12 Kentimetres of snow, and confirm that your calculation of "about 3cm" was spot on.

6 To absolutely verify, then compare with a photograph of a real 5 inches (12.5cm) from Steeton, in the reliable MZSNT.

Kentimetre reports are notably found in Kent, but also can occur over the full South East corner of England, especially after a particularly long snow drought ends.

Also, we've had a very similar phenomenon from within the MZSNT, so far in isolated incidences. We call this phenomenon YETI's and YETI'S usually form in small pockets within the sprawling, never ending, truly massive metropolis/conurbation of Harrogate/Knareborough.

So far YETI's have been confined to that one area, but we need to be vigilant of YETI's spreading within the MZSNT.

YETI's are to all intents and purposes the same as Kentimetres, so if you suspect a YETI, I would suggest that you use the above calculus for Kentimetres to verify.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
...

To reverse this for real depth - if somebody claims 12 Kentimetres of snow....

...

Classic stuff there...and you know what, b*gger me if I haven't just claimed 12 kentimetres in my own yard. Slightly sheepish gritted teeth smiley thingy...

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Posted
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
  • Weather Preferences: Winter: Snow>Freezing Fog; Summer: Sun>Daytime Storms
  • Location: Abingdon - 55m ASL - Capital of The Central Southern England Corridor of Winter Convectionlessness
This is how much snow I've had tonight so far:

By jove it's 12 Kentimetres.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
This is the best one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/ima...gallery.shtml?7

"Cars were stuck in the road as the snow was too deep to move them."

How many Kentimetres in a foot? Regardless, the author of the above article is hereby awarded 9 Telfords.

Surely that was the caption offered up at the end of the yet to go to air edition of "Have I Got Snowy News For You". I find it increasingly easy to be underwhelmed by the standards of journalism on the BBC, but this strikes a new low. However, every cloud has a silver lining...

Wiltshire (vi). To grossly exaggerate the material impact or effect of a meteorological event.

For example. Far be it from me to accuse Conor [name chosen at random, honestly, from SATSIGs RaSleGeM - the random sleet generating - machine] of Wiltshiring, but his story about 17 Kentimetres of snow causing the Bank of England to cut interest rates to -2.5% seemed rather far fetched.

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Posted
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent

I have to report, with some solemnity, that it appears to have snowed in Carlisle. Althought it seems to be a localised event, there is a corroborating photo from elsewhere in Cumbria showing upto 12 Kentimetres.

Should we disband? I feel quite faint.

Maybe it's best to sleep on it.

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Posted
  • Location: south lanarkshire,scotland
  • Location: south lanarkshire,scotland

Alert

Reports of a possible polar bear wandering around the Kent borders coming in from the model discussion thread.

Then again it may have just been a nolar bear.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
...

So far YETI's have been confined to that one area, but we need to be vigilant of YETI's spreading within the MZSNT.

...

Don't worry, the barriers are already up in some parts of the MZSNT...

post-364-1231284853_thumb.png

I have to report, with some solemnity, that it appears to have snowed in Carlisle. Althought it seems to be a localised event, there is a corroborating photo from elsewhere in Cumbria showing upto 12 Kentimetres.

Should we disband? I feel quite faint.

Maybe it's best to sleep on it.

The problem is there's a run on Kentimetres at the moment. We probably need an economic wunderkid to advise us on when, if ever, parity might be returned.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
Alert

Reports of a possible polar bear wandering around the Kent borders coming in from the model discussion thread.

Then again it may have just been a nolar bear.

Or it's someone wiltshiring again...

I think that verb deserves a noun.

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Posted
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent
  • Location: Hanley, Stoke-on-trent
Don't worry, the barriers are already up in some parts of the MZSNT...

post-364-1231284853_thumb.png

The problem is there's a run on Kentimetres at the moment. We probably need an economic wunderkid to advise us on when, if ever, parity might be returned.

So are you anouncing a devaluation of the Kentimetre? I think we should know, it may still make the late editions of the FT.

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Posted
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
  • Location: Steeton, W Yorks, 270m ASL
So are you anouncing a devaluation of the Kentimetre? I think we should know, it may still make the late editions of the FT.

If this were Gloucestershire I tell you, Monday's 12 kentimetres would be today's 30. Some would call it gross exaggeration, I call it a run on the kentimetre.

Sell!

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