Winter Cliche's

[Roger J Smith]

North American entry:

"Brutal windchills and frigid temperatures will sweep south as the Siberian express descends from the northern tundra of Canada to bring temperatures that are the same in both Fahrenheit and Celsius scales, howling winds, blinding snow squalls and even the risk of frostbite, but it will all change to a nightmare of ice as roads turn into skating rinks and hydro wires sag to the ground creating a lethal hazard for all who venture outside, pack your survival gear and take a cell phone in case you need to call emergency services although experts are warning that even tow-trucks may not start in these arctic conditions."

Actual result, -14 and partly cloudy.

[ukmoose]

Great one 63

A summary of today's weather and forecast for the next few days as we move in to December might go something like this:

It's been bitterly cold today in a biting south westerly wind. A very chilly night tonight with temperatures down to 7 or 8 degrees. Wrap up warm tomorrow because those isobars will be tightly packed and it will feel very cold despite the sunshine with temperatures ranging from 10 in the north to 14 in the south. And the outlook for the weekend, milder but with the chance of some heavy rain at times especially in the north.

Moose

[Stratos Ferric]

It is slightly mischievious of me, but the other 'cliché' I like when the models are interminably mild is the redrawing of boundaries.

What we seem to have established so far in the store cupboard marked 'hexs, spells and other yarns for cold fans when the outlook is grey, damp and mild' is that there are six phases of despair: I give you the phases of cliché...a SATSIGS special production, since there's virtually NO ramping going on. All highly scientific mind!

Edited November 30, 2007 by Stratos Ferric

[Osbourne One-Nil]

"My uncle knows someone who works for the council and they've ordered loads of grit"

[Stratos Ferric]

"My uncle knows someone who works for the council and they've ordered loads of grit"

Dammit, I forgot the grit and wildlife phase, though I think that to an extent this is a popular refuge during mild spells earlier in autumn. It is funny how whatever the autumnal weather there are ALWAYS signs to be gleaned from the wildlife that foretell of dark and interminably snow-filled days to come.

[Osbourne One-Nil]

We need to collect some of these....there's probably a Lottery Grant available actually. In fact, in Asby at the moment, some people are going round to the old folk collecting what they call an aural history. If only Weather Beaten lived here.

[Turnedoutniceagain]

My garden's full of waxwings, therefore it'll......................

[Azores Hi]

Typically for the christmas pudding, we see a complete absence of cold pooling to our east and with the AO heading for positive the likelihood of sustained blocking and therefore northerly plunges is slim. However as the month progresses we may well see height rises over Scandi giving us the potential for unleashing the beast from the east.

Towards the end of the month there is potential for a rather interesting setup. With low pressure progged to form to the south west (a result of the jet tracking more southerly), the odd toppler cannot be ruled out, if pressure can hold high to the north there is potential for a battle royale as the milder air butts up against the frigid continental air being brought across in a sustained easterly.

Typically it’s all on a knife edge and being in FI it’s never gonna happen and winter is officially over anyway.

[da_bish]

Turned out mild again....

Sorry, had to do it!

Edited November 30, 2007 by da_bish

[Rollo]

What about "Showers pecking away at the coast".

[Godot]

Can I add 'mush', 'dross' and 'rubbish'?

[Roger J Smith]

How about this from the confused weather bimbo whose major meteorological assets lie between her neck and her tummy --

"Look for 10 kilometres of snow tomorrow up north as a low front moves in, and pushes the dry air over the mountains, then later in the weekend, a wet rain is going to fall, accompanied by large winds and clouds lower than the ground forming fog, dense enough that you won't be able to see it, also, there could be an ice storm freezing on contact, but keep on hoping for Friday because that's when the sun may bring us some more seasonable values, all in all not a bad week except for Sunday to Thursday."

I wish I were misquoting, but the view was stunning.

[Turnedoutniceagain]

Turned out mild again....

Surely Turned Out Nice Again :unsure:

"There'll be lots of weather over the weekend"

[memories of 63]

How about this from the confused weather bimbo whose major meteorological assets lie between her neck and her tummy --

"Look for 10 kilometres of snow tomorrow up north as a low front moves in, and pushes the dry air over the mountains, then later in the weekend, a wet rain is going to fall, accompanied by large winds and clouds lower than the ground forming fog, dense enough that you won't be able to see it, also, there could be an ice storm freezing on contact, but keep on hoping for Friday because that's when the sun may bring us some more seasonable values, all in all not a bad week except for Sunday to Thursday."

I wish I were misquoting, but the view was stunning.

A classic and definitely deserves a :unsure:

[Thundery wintry showers]

How about:

"We are so close to getting an Easterly! All we need is for the NAO and AO to turn negative, the jet to track much further south, the SSTs around Iceland to drop by a couple of degrees, the temperature at Moscow to drop several degrees, the North Sea to drop a couple of degrees, the Euro High to retrogress to Scandinavia, and the atmosphere to be unstable enough to provide snow showers rather than stratocumulus layers."

And the type of forecast that really grates: "Hopefully the snow showers should clear away and it should become dry and bright, but bitterly cold. It will turn milder with warm south-westerlies- it will be dull and drizzly but at least it will be mild, so thankfully an improving picture!"

[cyclonic happiness]

DOWNGRADE COLD/UPGRADE MILD!!

[memories of 63]

How about:

"We are so close to getting an Easterly! All we need is for the NAO and AO to turn negative, the jet to track much further south, the SSTs around Iceland to drop by a couple of degrees, the temperature at Moscow to drop several degrees, the North Sea to drop a couple of degrees, the Euro High to retrogress to Scandinavia, and the atmosphere to be unstable enough to provide snow showers rather than stratocumulus layers."

And the type of forecast that really grates: "Hopefully the snow showers should clear away and it should become dry and bright, but bitterly cold. It will turn milder with warm south-westerlies- it will be dull and drizzly but at least it will be mild, so thankfully an improving picture!"

I think they both desrve a

Personally I like the first one more

[Roger J Smith]

You don't have to put up with Groundhog Day on Feb 2nd, do you? (I hate to capitalize it, even) ...

"Well, let's turn to Rick, our weatherman, to find out if we can expect six more weeks of winter." (this in Toronto, where monkeys would soar through the skies if winter ever ended before mid-April) ...

"Okay Pam, well Wiarton Willie saw his shadow so it's six more weeks of winter for our part of the world, but Punxsatawney Phil came out to thick cloud and went straight back into his den saying they would have an early spring. About half way in between, Batavia Bob is saying early spring, Dunkirk Dave says more winter, and somebody shot Rochester Robbie and had him for lunch." :lol:

Edited December 6, 2007 by Roger J Smith

[PersianPaladin]

'the pv'

[mezzacyclone]

The cutoff period has passed has Bill farkins grebes are mating in his kitchen.

But that film must go down as one of the funniest ever Roger, Bill Murray at his finest!

[sundog]

Light rain and drizzle in the northwest

[memories of 63]

The cutoff period has passed has Bill farkins grebes are mating in his kitchen.

But that film must go down as one of the funniest ever Roger, Bill Murray at his finest!

I thought that name was banned nuf said