Thundery wintry showers
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Blog Comments posted by Thundery wintry showers
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Some advice here, although I don't know how useful it will be. My advice is to try to avoid thinking about it too much except when you are in a state where you will be doing something constructive about it.
Of course people have to think about things that have to be done, when organising time and when actually taking steps towards doing it, but most people also spend a lot of time agonising over things while not actually doing anything about them, and that is a big source of stress. Because it is necessary to think about the future to some extent doesn't mean it is necessary to the full extent that most people go to.
A good example of this, for example, is when someone has an exam in 5 days time, and while (say) shopping, spends most of his or her time having trains of negative thought about the upcoming exam, while knowing that you can't really revise and shop at the same time. Many people believe that by thinking about it, they are being constructive, and in a minority of cases this may be true, but often it leads to stress more than anything else.
Such stress can often be reduced by either doing something about it, or not thinking about it until the time arises when you will be doing something about it.
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Very wise words- I totally agree.
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I think one useful thing I've mentioned before is to try to avoid getting lost in trains of negative thoughts- it can take practice, but often when people are depressed it is because of negative thought chains, where you can notice yourself having these trains of thought and cut them out. A depression syndrome will obviously add other factors and make it more difficult to avoid depression, but even so, negative trains of thought may well accentuate the depression.
When you enter a relationship with trains of negative thought going through your head- those negative thoughts can play havoc, and the other party can often pick up on that. Or at least, that has sometimes been my experience. Sometimes it wasn't so much that the other party was also neurotic, more that my neurotic feelings washed over onto the other party.
Also, with searching for the perfect partner- it won't be easy, many people spend years or even decades before they find one. Some relationships just don't work when they are taken too far, but they may still work as friendships or just friendly acquaintances- and others may not work at all.
I hate the phrase 'move on'- but I think that's because it can be meant in many different ways, and over the years, many people have told me to "move on" meaning "cut old things out of my life". For example there are a number of old friends and acquaintances that I let go of, who have recently got back in touch with me- and people have told me that I should have rejected them as part of having "moved on"!
I think the main point is that if a relationship isn't working now, while it's important to accept that it's not working and to let go, it doesn't mean it will never work again in future (although if it does, it may often be a different type of relationship the next time, as I have found with my rekindled friendships). However, I don't deny that some relationships do never work again. The thing is- none of us can 100% foresee the future!
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Sorry about the glaringly late reply- I had two weeks in France!
An Extrav is a party held at one of the University bars on campus, which you can come to and go from at any time, but which typically starts at 7pm and finishes at 3am.
As for the degree, fingers crossed I seem to have been accepted by Leeds and NERC despite only getting a 2.2, although sorting out accommodation is currently proving to be a bit of a pain.
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The night continued the 'disappointing' theme until around midnight, because there was nobody friendly around. This dramatically changed at midnight when I came across an exceptionally friendly crowd out of nowhere, had a great time, and then went to bed at 4.45am!
There were some spectacular early-morning cloud effects that I photographed with my digital camera that I thought was bust... so far, still working!
I had very little alcohol, and so don't have to suffer any hangovers today- just as well, because the Lonsdale College Extrav (scheduled for tonight) is usually the best one of all in my experience. Excess alcohol doesn't agree with me- I prefer to drink in moderation!
Also, Leeds have just sent an email suggesting they are still interested in me, so the chance hasn't gone yet.
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Whatever those 'circumstances' are, it sounds like you've got a good approach there.
Recently, my motto in these situations has been to keep an open mind- the ability to let go of something, but also to remain open to the possibility that it might come back again after a period of time spent apart... the first is hard enough, and the second seems to be even harder for most people.
However, I've found from my own experience that if you spend a lot of time thinking about 'waiting' for something, it can dominate your thoughts and make you apprehensive and stressed- so it may be best to try not to think about it too much and relax your approach. Worrying about, or becoming attached to/obsessed about a particular outcome usually achieves little: if you adopt a relaxed and open approach, if an opportunity arises it will still be there for the taking.
You can only do your best- if you do so, and you get rejected, it's the rejectors' loss more than yours! Personally, I find that a much more effective (and less destructive) way of avoiding being hurt than the traditional recipe of 'cutting off'.
I have a lot of experience of this 'arbitary morality' you referred to earlier- it drives me nuts as well- bear in mind that you're by no means alone!
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My mother does that sort of thing all the time- it usually happens with her glasses.
Good to hear you're feeling better.
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Sounds like your mother is indeed a bit unusual- most people of her generation are obsessed with keeping everything tidy!
I think the ignorance is quite 'normal' though...
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Yes- I had it three times! The first time was moderate, the second very weak, and the third very severe.
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Good luck with it all- I think such an attitude is perfectly justified under the circumstances.
It'll probably be good IMO when the European Commission, maybe even the Government etc. bring in and enforce the kind of laws they have over much of Europe to stop employee abuse of this kind of magnitude...
My thoughts go to you, your son, your husband, and any other family/close friends who have been 'neglected' during this hectic period, and I hope for both your and their sake that this sort of thing doesn't happen again.
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Yes- I agree, I thought he played extremely well, and as the final went on I found myself increasingly rooting for him as opposed to Stevens.
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Yes, I know the feeling- I have things like Net-weather, The Sims 2, Doom 3 etc to distract me.
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I know it's very easy for me to say this as I don't have all the burdens of responsibility- but might it be worth considering working towards changing to a less stressful job? It can't be good being overworked and having a little one to keep under check. We all need time and space to relax and enjoy ourselves, even if there are many in our work-oriented culture who erroneously have the impression that we don't.
In any case, it's good that there is actually some light at the end of the tunnel there with the time off in June!
Mouth Ulcers
in snow raven's Blog
A blog by snow raven in Archive
Posted
I can't offer any help here, unfortunately. I sort of half have the habit, in that I often 'play with' the innards of the skin in my mouth, but don't tend to bite them off.