the reason I say the build up is worse is because my family who are great and help me out a lot when a storm is ongoing insist I try to live a normal life and routine up until then I understand their point of view but I find it hard One time when my PC had broken down it thundered , It wasn't forecast I wasn't expecting it or looking out for it and apart from been worried at the time I was able to cope Perhaps coming here Is doing me more harm than good because at times due to worry I have felt quite self destructive and considered doing something very stupid and final ( wont take a genius to figure out what that was ) but thankfully common sense kicked in and I told myself it's only weather and it's finite not everlasting , I just wished I had my Dad's attitude he has a lot of illnesses but carries on regardless and lives a good life unlike me who worries worries worries and who at the moment feels like such a failure and a coward I've got to go now before my sanity goes and regain my self control goodbye for now and good luck for those that want them and those that don't