Moans, ramps and banter

[WYorksWeather]

 Don

We're expecting heavy falls of molten lead this morning, which may prove quite disruptive, and therefore there is a Met Office amber warning in force. Later on watch out for volcanic ash and toxic sulphur clouds. After a fairly warm start at 350 degrees Celsius, temperatures this afternoon may reach 450 degrees and so it will feel very hot for the time of year. Make sure to check on any elderly or vulnerable people who may be more vulnerable to the heat. Tomorrow though much fresher air will move in, and we're expecting temperatures to drop away quite sharply to around 300 degrees.

Hopefully the BBC never have to deliver a forecast like that!

[WYorksWeather]

For comparison, here was ChatGPT's attempt, after a bit of coaxing:

Quote

Presenter: "Today on Venus, we're experiencing typical conditions for this time of year. Let's break it down."

Presenter: "First off, temperatures remain extremely hot, with highs expected to reach a blistering 460 degrees Celsius. It's a good day to stay indoors and keep cool."

Presenter: "Cloud cover remains dense throughout the day, providing a thick blanket over the planet. Expect limited visibility and an eerie, orange glow across the landscape."

Presenter: "As for precipitation, well, don't expect rain. However, Venus is known for its spectacular lightning storms, so keep an eye out for dazzling displays in the sky."

Presenter: "Surface conditions are as challenging as ever, with high pressures and strong winds sweeping across the plains and mountains."

Presenter: "Radar scans indicate no major disturbances or anomalies today, so it looks like a relatively calm day by Venusian standards. Nevertheless, it's always wise to be prepared for anything when dealing with the weather on this planet."

Presenter: "So, in summary, expect scorching temperatures, dense cloud cover, possible lightning storms, and challenging surface conditions on Venus today. That's all for our BBC Venus Weather Forecast. Stay safe out there, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye!"

 

[Wade]

 WYorksWeather They never will because anyone in that ludicrous height of heat would instantly melt

Edited March 13 by Wade

[raz.org.rain]

Here's a random one... I'm trying to find out if there's any subtropical fauna that could be considered native to the UK? You'd think there would be some small colonies considering that parts of Cornwall have had a climate resembling subtropical for a long time.

[TwisterGirl81]

 raz.org.rain we have some palm trees here in the south west?

[Don]

50 minutes ago, WYorksWeather said:

Hopefully the BBC never have to deliver a forecast like that!

Lol unlikely, we'll be well extinct by then!

[*Stormforce~beka*]

Gosh it's cheery in here tonight ...

[Sun Chaser]

The last time we had a dire autumn and winter and first two thirds of March, it was 2020 and the weather suddenly flipped at the equinox.

I'm not saying it'll happen again but..... something to think about

[Arctic Hare]

In a shock that nobody could possibly have foreseen, the consistently "dry morning" forecast for here has turned out to be wrong. It's raining.

[Azazel]

this has to be the greyest/dullest period of weather in a very long time right? I think i've seen the sun about 4-5 times since christmas.

[BlueSkies_do_I_see]

 Sun Chaser I would take not seeing a glimpse of the sun again for the rest of March to get April 2020 again. That was a lovely month of sunshine. Thank god it was good, as we had just entered the first lockdown and I felt like a caged rodent stuck within the confines of my home and back yard.

But it was also pretty decent at the end of March 2020 too, I seem to remember.

Record-breaking April sunshine

WWW.METOFFICE.GOV.UK

---

April 2020 has been a warm, dry and sunny month

 

Edited March 14 by BlueSkies_do_I_see

[Sun Chaser]

 BlueSkies_do_I_see April 2020 was glorious. The only time I've ever seen 27c on my birthday and I've spent it in Greece and Spain before!

Came after a gloriously sunny (although cooler) end of March - just that last third alone was enough to make March 2020 one of the sunniest Marches.

And of course it led into the UK's sunniest month on record - May 2020!

[danm]

 BlueSkies_do_I_see That whole period during the first lockdown was amazing (for the weather, not being caged like a rodent!). Mid March right through to the end of May. 

[reef]

2020, the sunniest Spring on record for us, only to be followed by the dullest summer on record (411 hours). It was the ultimate insult after having to work extra all Spring during lockdown and then when it finally eased off - cloudy constantly!

July had 97 hours of sunshine and August 132 hours.

July and August 2023 had 134 hours more!

[danm]

5 minutes ago, reef said:

2020, the sunniest Spring on record for us, only to be followed by the dullest summer on record (411 hours). It was the ultimate insult after having to work extra all Spring during lockdown and then when it finally eased off - cloudy constantly!

July had 97 hours of sunshine and August 132 hours.

July and August 2023 had 134 hours more!

Looking back, you were in that incredibly dark grey patch!

[reef]

 danm It continued into the Autumn and December aswell. Spring 2020 had 683 hours of sunshine but June-December had 736 hours! Look at this run:

July: 97 hours (49%)
August: 132 hours (72%)
September: 147 hours (101%)
October: 74 hours (69%)
November: 67 hours (97%)
December 37 hours (71%)

I suppose it shows that long dull periods aren't uncommon. Not that it makes just 16 hours of sun in the first 14 days of March less annoying.

Edited March 14 by reef

[SussexSnowman]

Shocking announcement to make, but the sun actually made an appearance this morning before being swallowed up by a load of boring clouds! 

[SunnyG]

It was sunny for about 5 minutes and guess what, it's raining now. Shock, horror, suprise!

[In Absence of True Seasons]

 SussexSnowman I think it was a hallucination

[In Absence of True Seasons]

Being treated to a slightly lighter/brighter shade of grey today. How lovely. 

Edited March 14 by In Absence of True Seasons

[danm]

Well what’s this? Some sunshine at last:

 

Temperatures pushing 16c, makes a nice change, even if temporary. 

[B87]

 raz.org.rain not native, but plenty of naturalised species that are everywhere.

Holm oaks, maritime pines and stone pines are from the Mediterranean. Various eucalyptus species, olives, loquats, some citrus, Canary Island date palms, and many other palm species all do well in our climate.

There are even reliably fruiting large avocado trees in inner London, and the worlds most northerly fruiting grapefruit.

Ring necked parakeets are naturalised and thrive here, though they are from a colder climate than ours, but people assume they are subtropical.

Edited March 14 by B87

[kold weather]

Legitimately a spring day here today, 2nd day this year without any need for a coat personally, though just a shade cold for just a t-shirt

[*Stormforce~beka*]

 SunnyG It was raining on my way back from school run this morning. Not heavy at all but rain none the less!

[johncam]

Looks like we will have a 36hrs rainfest woo bloody hoo